The Weekly Roundup: Stop punching us!
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Monday 6 February
What happens when gender relations are viewed as a zero-sum game.
They do realize, we hope, that setting an end date for a hunger strike more or less defeats the purpose...
Forgot show trials; these kids don’t even need a forced confession in order to dole out their own brand of justice.
But the scholarship can only be offered if the executive order is rescinded, at which point it’s kind of meaningless, no?
Shouldn’t they be immune from hearing opposing viewpoints until the resolution passes? After all, at this point the school still does have “safe spaces.”
Apparently, exploring “ethical non-monogamy as an alternative to cheating” just wasn’t in keeping with the event’s educational mission.
Clearly, they’ve not lost sight of their mission to prepare students for success in the real world.
Tuesday 7 February
How could anybody be upset at the idea of “bashing” one’s classmates when the Republicans are using “GUNS”?
Well, any group that supports free speech probably is a “direct threat” to the liberal order.
At least they aren’t beating around the bush anymore.
Watch out! Before you know, people will be expressing themselves all over the place!
...and nevermind whether it destroys the all-female glee club in the process.
Which evokes the question: What’s so wrong with the all-female group that everybody is obsessed with joining the Whifflepoofs, instead?
It’s quite possible these broke college students are just hoping money will fall out.
Wednesday 8 February
This type of melodrama is usually reserved for soap operas.
Seriously. That was practically taken verbatim from her performance review.
Has the entire Academy turned off its irony filter?
Sticks and stones, children. Sticks and stones...
And yet these same students find the very idea of “vetting” potential immigrants to be positively abhorrent.
What do they have against their professors, one wonders.
Instead, his companions just disowned him, proving his point in the process.
Of course, their real target is Trump, but it seems they’re just too lazy to venture far from campus to make their statement.
Thursday 9 February
That’s a lot of eggshells...
Social justice education takes best when it precedes the development of a child’s critical faculties.
Was that part of the lesson plan?
Of course. We wouldn’t want anybody to feel bad about their decision to murder an infant, now would we?
Yeah, but it feels as though they’re accomplishing something...
To be fair, if the police had responded the students surely would have cried ‘police brutality!’
Friday 10 February
Was this intentionally in conjunction with the release of 50 Shades Darker? Or just a coincidence?
Ah, the one type of diversity that liberals simply can’t tolerate.
But there are still 44 states where ambitious legislators can make a name for themselves...
Perhaps it just depends on what one’s definition of “is” is.
Gee, why on Earth would professors be so concerned about people finding out what they tell their students?
The impersonator put up less of a fight.
Saturday 11 February
That schtick is so stale as to be indigestible at this point.