The Weekly Roundup: Demand for outrage revives manufacturing
- The headlines we were tempted to run, and the commentary we couldn’t.
Sunday 19 March
They may die the river green for St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago, but it isn’t a very attractive color on the city’s college students.
Monday 20 March
Hmm. They might need to do a better job of defining them first.
Maybe they need to dig even further—what's the next smallest modifier after “micro?”
Nope, it wasn’t given by Bill Clinton on the subject of “superpredators.” Guess again.
They mean that rhetorically, of course. There’s nothing tangible they can actually do.
[See headline for joke—ed.]
Planned Parenthood—so necessary, it can be replaced by a handful of abortifacient pills!
Males, it seems, emerge from the womb with an aggressive salary request in mind.
Women are exactly the same as men and need no special treatment or advantages, right up until the point they do. When is that point? Whenever it becomes politically convenient for feminists.
However will next year’s recipient top her feat of making OCC an international embarrassment?
The way things are going, we half-expect the first prof who calls for Trump’s assassination to be given a ticker-tape parade by the school.
If that’s going to be her cause, she’s got her work cut out for her.
Tuesday 21 March
Not that they voted on the extra $9,000 or anything, though…
$20,000 in a budget like this isn't an emergency fund, that's a line-item.
To be fair, there weren’t quite “dozens” of them.
It's always racism, unless it's against Jews. Then it's social justice.
Their bitter tears were the perfect complement to the savory taste of victory.
Wednesday 22 March
Every ellipsis in the prof’s message is another point at which liberal guilt was impeded, just for a moment, by common sense.
Who else will protect students’ delicate little ears?
First of all: this wasn’t racial; it was political.
Second: It was rather funny.
Next: “grammar Nazis” becomes verboten.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step.
We find it hard to believe that Columbia University is the only place that Muslims can go in New York City to pray.
Thursday 23 March
Ironically, it probably would have passed without even drawing notice if not for the violent excesses of liberal students.
What kind of monster would ask a student to complete assignments on time even when the student is feeling a little sad?
If one is what one eats, then they must serve a lot of crow in the cafeteria, because these kids were absolutely convinced that the straw man was real.
They’re fine with free speech, as long as theirs is the speech that’s free, and everyone else agrees to sit quietly and listen.
That’s gonna put a real damper on the school’s graduate degree offerings.
Ah, but “planning” and “doing” are two entirely different beasts.
Good thing they made that clear, because otherwise we would have thought that the rest of their signs were extremely racist.
Friday 24 March
Florida and Texas were both thrilled at the news.
California education appears to have skipped covering “the goose that laid the golden egg.”
Oops, sorry. We meant to say, “targets OCC.” The graffiti may have threatened Recalde-Martinez by name, but it was the school’s property that it was painted on, you see.
Think Trump can get the border wall built before the end of her trip?
Mind you, these guys are supporters of safe spaces. They just can’t stand the embarrassment of their rhetorical allies any longer.
She won’t speak at commencement, though. She’s probably just afraid that someone might record it.