The Weekly Roundup: Who let these kids back on campus?

Monday, 22 August

Ole Miss not just whistling ‘Dixie,’ bans song from games

It figures that Southerners would ban Abe Lincoln’s favorite song...

Clinton’s free college plan takes flak from left

So, we’re in agreement: Hillary’s plan won’t work, and you can take your pick of reasons.

UW budgets $4M to spread failing diversity program system-wide

They must be under the impression that the means justify the ends.

OSU course weaves ‘critical animal studies’ into feminism, social justice

They do ask at least one good question, though: “How can feminist insights about oppression be used to call attention to the inequities of power between humans and animals?”

Once one starts basing one’s intellectual positions on emotion, it can become difficult to know when to stop (the answer, of course, is “before one starts”).

PC culture abounds at Trump’s alma mater

No wonder Trump hates political correctness so much: it’s dragging down the value of his degree!

WVU equity office calls improper pronoun use a Title IX violation

On the other hand, the school says it would never launch an investigation on those grounds.

Does that mean WVU is deliberately refusing to comply with its understanding of a federal law?

Tuesday, 23 August

Berkeley prof: workfare law is ‘a war on our nation’s children’

Let’s ease up on the hyperbole, professor. Some children whose parents have jobs turn out just fine.

If a child does better in a family with one stay-at-home parent, imagine how well they’d do with two stay-at-home parents!

Calling Hillary ‘Mrs. Clinton’ is sexist, say Georgetown Dems

We couldn’t agree more: “Clinton” is easily the most sexist word we can think of.

New campaign helps students demand free speech, intellectual diversity on campus

Strangely, none of the materials seem to recommend calling for the ouster of every administrator in sight.

Either that was just an oversight, or these Heterodox Academy people really do believe in free speech.

Stanford takes shots at alcohol, Pres. Hennessy ban liquor

Hennessy: a truly unfortunate surname to have if you’re going to ban liquor.

NLRB: Graduate students at private universities can unionize

Campus Reform ruling: private universities can stop offering grad students the chance to earn extra cash while they study.

Wednesday, 24 August

Texas judge implies UT profs who challenged campus carry lack ‘ordinary intelligence’

It’s difficult to find any flaws in his reasoning.

College offers courses on white privilege, race/diversity in sports

We can’t help but wonder which nerds were picked last for kickball.

UF offers in-state tuition for illegal immigrants

Because progressive common sense would dictate nothing less.

Dildos descend upon Austin for ‘Cocks not Glocks’ protest

The average observer remains unsure whether the lefty kids have gleaned such petulance from their Congressional counterparts, or vice versa.

Which is likely to be more disruptive to the average college carrying a concealed firearm, or plopping down a dildo on top of a desk?

You won’t find safe spaces here, UC dean tells freshmen

Considering the murder rate, were there really any safe spaces in Chicago to begin with?

If Cubs fans can deal with a century of disappointment and survive, surely freshman at U of Chicago can handle uncomfortable ideas.

VIDEO: young voters see double standard in Clinton foundation

They better not, or the SocJus Gestapo might make them see double.

Thursday, 25 August

BU health school faculty ‘strongly encouraged’ to take bias training

They were given an offer they couldn’t refuse.

UNC LGBTQ advisor leaves over bathroom law

Bravely bold Sir Robin/Went forth from Camelot/He was not afraid to die/Oh, brave Sir Robin...

Binghamton defends ‘StopWhitePeople2K16’ event for RA’s

They say it was meant ironically. Does that mean what we think it means?

Gender-neutral bathroom signs threaten our ‘safe space,’ UNC students complain

Of course, they could have just kept with the status quo, but where’s the fun in that?

Dems dominate academia because Republicans are ‘anti-science,’ UNC prof claims

“Feelings over facts” Democrats are obviously much more practically-minded.

Ithaca students want profs to teach diversity in every class

Campus Reform thinks this would be a definition applicable to all areas of study:

Synonyms: diversity of profit, diversity of nuisance to fellow human beings

UT prof blasphemes, mocks NRA during cocky protest

You’d be surprised at how difficult it is to not come up with some puerile, penile punnery for this headline.

Friday, 26 August

KU library pushed BLM propaganda on students

Well, libraries are places of learning. Why discriminate between useful information and disingenuous propaganda?

Binghamton apologizes for ‘StopWhitePeople2K16’ event

“Out of context, [the title of the event] is offensive and alarming,” said the school’s Vice President for Student Affairs Brian Rose.

Please do tell, Mr. Rose, in what context would the title be appropriate?

Grad students waste no time unionizing after NLRB ruling

Hurry! These kids need dental work, like, now!

Given the rise of Twitter trolls and 4Chan meme lords, you’d think these guys would know better than to upload pictures of themselves holding signs.

Study: minority faculty increasing, not getting tenure

The victory is, alas, incomplete.

Cal Poly expands gender neutral housing to satisfy student activists

And the success of appeasement has certainly had historical precedent...just look at World War II.

Enrollment drop from Mizzou protests worse than feared

Stanford deletes ‘victim-blaming’ primer warning women about alcohol and rape

Right, because the decent thing to do is to ignore the problem completely, or at best address it with an ineffectual ban on alcohol that absolutely nobody will observe.

Schools settle on ‘toilet’ as most ‘inclusive’ gender-neutral restroom sign

Oh, come now. How many students really identify as toilets?

College presidents snub UC after letter denouncing safe spaces

Who knew there would be side benefits for UC?

They were just trying to put a bunch of snot-nosed little pre-SJWs in their place before it was too late, and now they get to skip out on the fart-smelling conference over at Northwestern.