The Weekly Roundup: Merry Christmas!

Monday 19 December

Texas campus carry ‘non-issue’ after first semester

Despite this, liberal students still carry dildos to class. Someone should ask them why.

Students demand ‘microaggression workshop’ for all faculty

Wouldn’t it be cheaper to just have prisoners manufacture microaggressions, the way they do with license plates?

Grad student launches petition to ban Milo from CU-Boulder

Grad students are just as incapable of hearing different opinions as undergraduate 18 year olds.

Fortunately, they’re also equally incapable of articulating their own views without parodying themselves.

Tuesday 20 December

CA lawmaker takes aim at campus speech restrictions

California schools aren’t doomed after all!

Oh, wait. This guy’s a Republican? Never mind; they’re screwed.

Babson finds no evidence of slurs from Trump supporters

The hate crimes are hoaxes? I’m sure the Russians are involved.

CSU hires counselor to deal with ‘racial battle fatigue'

We sense a reboot of M*A*S*H* coming on...

UW: 'Problem of Whiteness' class 'not designed to offend'

Let’s try an exercise to test the validity of that assertion: In place of “whiteness,” choose any other skin color and see whether anyone gets offended.

Wednesday 21 December

Lawmakers demand UW cancel 'Problem of Whiteness' course

Local lawmakers once again try to restore faith in higher education.

Students demand bias reporting system before Trump takes office

And you can bet they don’t mean the hackneyed liberalism being spewed by professors when they say “bias.”

Muslim students demand prayer rooms in every 'major building'

Sure, they can put them in right next to the chapels.

Thursday 22 December

OCC recording a 'politically motivated effort,' faculty claim

They say that as though it discredits the recording, but we would argue that the professor’s anti-Trump diatribe was also a “politically motivated effort.”

So what now?

Liberty U planning first ever on-campus shooting range

And as a corollary benefit, having a shooting range on campus should make it less likely that the campus ever becomes a shooting range.

Prof denies that college campuses are 'liberal echo chambers'

Only a professor in a liberal echo chamber would say this.

Academics urge Trump to endorse Obama climate change policies

Just a reminder: the adage goes “when pigs fly;” not “when SJWs cry.”

Friday 23 December

Rohrabacher threatens to cut UC funding over aid to illegals

Well, somebody had to teach them that money is fungible.

UMD urges ‘inclusive language’ to avoid offending illegals

If being accurately labeled offends you, chances are you’re the problem.

Oregon prof found guilty of harassment for blackface costume

Halloween really is the scariest day of the year.

AU promotes clemency for convicted cop killer by hosting statue on campus

Message: There’s a sliding morality scale for murder, depending on who does the killing and who does the dying.